Testimonials and Feedback
Things to Know Before You Say “Go” cards
“These cards are great. A most illuminating way to vet out any relatioinship.”
Christiane Northrup, MD.
Author of the New York Times bestsellers: Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause
“These cards are immediately accessible and welcoming. The ideas and issues are simple — but hardly simplistic. Great self-conversation starters. For someone in the throes of new love, they are the voice of calm and reason — maybe not what someone in the throes wants to hear…but what they should hear. Congratulations on a terrific, wise-without-pretense product.”
Author of My Teenage Werewolf
“The cards are absolutely wonderful. They are very interactive, fun, strengths based, and serve as a powerful tool in engaging youth in dialogue. The cards are a wonderful treat!”
Tanya E. Wilson, MSW
Red Hook Initiative, Brooklyn, NY
“Things to Know Before You Say Go, will begin to assist my clients (juvenile offenders) in building a foundation for future intimate relationships. Our goal is to help reduce recidivism, and improve positive youth development. These “powerful questions,” along with concrete answers, and skill building, will increase the likelihood of their success in the community. Thank you so much for thinking of us, and assisting in the work we do with juvenile offenders.”
Lee Lederer, Psy.D.
Oregon Youth Authority, Albany, OR
“Just had an opportunity to use your cards with 16 year old today. She was totally delighted and wanted to get her own set! I read pertinent questions to her, she answered, then read back of card aloud–leading to great discussions. Then she went through the deck, picking questions that attracted her. She is excited to do more next week! Bravo to you!”
Beth Quackenbush, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, Salem, OR
“The cards … were very well received by my community college women in transition students. Also a great gift for your teen daughter who thinks the Twilight vampire books depict a desirable, healthy romantic relationship.”
Shoshana D. Kerewsky, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist – Counseling and Human Services, Eugene, OR
“(This is) a great book & card set that you can use with the client to help with decision-making, learning about the factors that go into healthy relationships. I’ve used the set now with several clients, and I’m really liking it. Because you can use it in session, it takes the burden off the client regarding reading skills (clients who have poor reading skills also have low incentive to read for between-session homework — it’s arduous, they don’t feel comfortable with it, etc.).”
Susan Rosenzweig, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, Portland, OR
“I received your cards and book yesterday, and sat down to see what you have been up to. I had them about half an hour, when my daughter (age 20 and not in a relationship) took them from me. Soon they were spread over the kitchen table and she was writing down all the questions that she really liked. She said, “These are really good question. Has she written any other sets of cards?” Naturally I gave them to her, and will order another set for me. I hope she takes them back to college with her, shares them with her friends and they all start talking about these important questions.”
Mary Hilken, MA
Therapist, Washington DC
“I have been dating a great guy who is extremely worthy of my trust, but still struggled to completely relax about the relationship progressing toward marriage. My first husband was both physically and verbally abusive, so trust has since been a real struggle with me… I struggle the most with trusting my own judgement of character. My therapist suggested my boyfriend and I review these cards together to address possible areas of concern so I could validate my own judgement of my boyfriend’s character. I have known him my whole life, but we sat out on my patio flipping through these cards to really discuss specific areas that can be prone to conflict in marriage–this really validated my character judgement and was another opportunity to grow that open communication between us.”
“Just want to mention that I am referring multiple clients to your cards. They cover a very pertinent women’s issue (well ‘everyone’s issue) but it seems proportionately women rush to love, lose boundaries and get in over their head before sorting it out, at great personal expense to themselves. This is the perfect material to refer numbers of people to in just such a juncture… The best thing about the deck is the wisdom, honesty and truth integrated all throughout.”
“I like that they are tactile. I especially enjoy the fact that I can nip away at them here and there, drawing a card at random and seeing what it brings up, for me as well as for my daughters. I like the option of sorting them into piles for what I know about myself. I like sorting them into piles about what I know about my child. I like going through them in retrospect as far as past relationships were concerned and seeing where there were strong points as well as where the problems were… sort of learning in retrospect. I like seeing why my committed marriage works when I go through the deck. It validates that these work. I love the idea of my daughters using them with me, with themselves and with their friends as they get older… when they move from friendship to more serious dating, to relationships and on to commitment. It’s so nice to have a visual thing that is not strictly a book… something you can shuffle up, put a few in a pocket, draw one of more at random. They are so much more versatile than a worksheet or a teaching guide with a binding. They can even be used for social occasions, where you set a card at each person’s place, to start conversation.
I would highly recommend this deck to others. I would recommend this deck, whole heartedly to single people looking to make good choices in finding a mate, to young people wanting to have true friendship and honest relationships from the get go. I’d recommend it to counselors who can use it with their teen and adult clients. Oh, if we’d only had this deck when I was growing up.”
Tave Fasce Drake
Artist and Educator, Portland, OR
“I just used the “Things to Know Before You Say Go” card deck today with a single male client who was uncertain about how serious he was in a new relationship. He found it helpful to sort out what was important and what was not and to recognize the qualities he was seeking in a committed, long term relationship. I plan to use it with a couple next. A useful tool!”
Peter A. Powers, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist, Eugene, OR
The Questions iPhone app
“Dating is really difficult! Many clients I work with struggle with their confidence level and holding clear boundaries about what their needs are in a relationship. In fact, many report a similar belief system “maybe I am just asking for too much.” As a therapist in private practice, it is sometimes tricky to help client start to internalize healthy relationship boundaries. The Questions app for the Iphone is a fantastic resource for doing just that. It gives an unbiased viewpoint for the client to explore the health of their relationship, as well as their needs.
Being able to refer clients to a resource that they can download in just a few minutes is fantastic and clients love/hate being able to see actual numbers that reflect back the health of their relationship. No more trips to the bookstore or waiting for an Amazon order- clients get the material immediately and can’t lose it! If you are therapist in private practice that works with people who are dating- I can’t recommend this enough. Check out this fabulous resource!”
Miranda Palmer, LMFT MFC
How to Spot a Bully card deck
“I am a pediatrician as well as the founder of Family Empowerment Network. My life’s work is to empower parents and educators to raise strong, healthy, thriving kids. One of my primary focuses is understanding and dealing with peer mistreatment, and Dr. Elsbeth Martindale’s “How to Spot a Bully” cards are a “go-to” tool I often recommend to my clients as well as to school staff. The cards provide an engaging, accessible, and even playful way to learn when peer conflict crosses the line into bullying. The solution cards go beyond identifying a problem to give clear and specific steps for resolution.”
Kathy Masarie, MD
Family Empowerment Network
“The Bully Cards are an effective way to help my students ?identify and discuss the tough question, “Am I being Bullied?” ?The multiple suggestions and steps for resolution help empower students ?to make a plan of action and stand up against bullying. ?I highly recommend these cards for every classroom. ?They help both teachers and students get the conversation started.”
2nd Grade Classroom Teacher, Portland Public Schools
“Fantastic tool for helping identify bullying behavior and strategize about resolution. Very practical and useful. Every teacher, therapist, pediatrician, and parent should have a deck!”
Doreen Dodgen Magee, PsyD
Psychologist, Lake Oswego, OR
“These cards provide a clear & direct confrontation of bullying behavior in my classroom & offer specific action steps for everyone involved.”
Para-Educator, Portland Public Schools, Portland, OR
Distress Tolerance Cards
“The Distress Tolerance have helped my clients more quickly identify strategies to reduce their distress and begin feeling better. The way the cards are broken down into categories makes the process easier for clients and for me. Thank you for such an easy to use and understand tool.”
Marla, MA LPC DEH
Practitioner in Salem, OR
“Dr. Martindale has an insightful, creative and effective “Psychotherapy Toolkit” she has developed from years of empowering individuals toward meaningful change. I was delighted to experience her workshop and the rich resources she has collected and developed. In addition to acquiring some useful and practical therapeutic tools, I came away reinvigorated to create and develop more of my ideas for use in therapy.”
Scott Willis, Ph. D.,
Psychologist, Portland, OR
“I really enjoyed your presentation. You are incredibly creative and I appreciated your willingness to share your ideas with all of us. I plan to try some of them with my work as an elementary school counselor! Many presenters are good at identifying the problem, but few give good suggestions/skills about how to solve them…you did! Thanks again.”
Terri Mazzilli-Roth MSW, LCSW
Professional School Counselor, Salem-Keizer School District, OR