Stack the Deck for Romance

Things to Know Before You Say “Go” – A Card Sort for Romance.

Things to Know Relationship Deck

My most favorite psychotherapy tool of all is a creation of my own. It’s the Things to Know Before You Say “Go” deck of seventy-six questions to ask when exploring relationships. The cards are a combination of powerful and playful, engaging clients in the deep and challenging process of looking at their current, past, or hoped for relationship.

The whole deck of cards can be sorted into three piles, positive responses, negative responses, and unknown. This is a lot of sorting to do in one session and the cards may be better used in a more interactive fashion during a therapy session (see suggestions below). Send the cards home with the client if they are interested in sorting the complete deck.

In a therapy session, I find it helpful to fan the deck and invite the client to just pick one card. Inevitably the card question will lead to a fascinating and instructive dialogue about an important aspect of romantic partnership. A short stack sort is also a quick method to use to familiarize the client with the deck and the powerful questions. In this method, offer the client five cards and ask them to rank them in order of importance. Lots of conversation can come out of this simple activity.

You can see the cards under my products at and purchase them if you think they might be a good adjunct to your therapy or coaching practices.