Rule Number One

The mainstream culture and media often feed us messages loaded with hooey. Our standards of beauty, the possessions we “need”, the drugs we should ingest to shift our mood, as well as our expectations for relationships are all influenced by these messages. Unfortunately, the information and suggestions from the media can be in opposition to what I, as a psychologist, know to be healthy.

Occasionally, a grand piece of wisdom gets some air play. I was delighted recently to hear a song full of relationship wisdom. David Wilcox’s song, Rule Number One, offers relationship advice that is all too often unheard and neglected, especially by our drama seeking, entertainment focused media. The song speaks about observing someone else’s actions and attitude as a predictor of future behavior. It suggests making choices and taking steps now to prevent future conflict or discomfort.

This kind of scrutiny of a relationship is a healthy part of dating. Dating someone isn’t just about trying to please them, it’s about listening to whether or not the other person pleases you. It’s really okay to do this! You can be very picky about with whom you surround yourself, especially when picking a potential life partner. The song offers the same advice as is on the Respect card in my Things to Know Before You Say “Go” deck. Have a listen.

Here are the lyrics:

Rule Number One – by David Wilcox (From What You Whispered)

Could be the one, could be tonight

A love that would feel so right

You look in his eyes, he pours the wine

They shine in the candlelight

Its easy to laugh, easy to smile

Except when the service was slow

Then he was cruel, suddenly mean

Not like the man you know

If he’s rude to the waiter and it makes your heart confused

This is lesson # 1 …….Run


Get up and run, don’t walk, don’t wait

Rule #1 don’t hesitate, your date is done…. Run


Look, this is a gift, this is a deal

Pay for the taxi back home

Its fare for the lift, fair for the meal

Return like warrior

What have you lost? Except for a dream,

A dream that would shatter like bone

Its better to run and get away clean

Than pay for the lawyer

If he’s rude to the waiter and it makes your heart confused

This is lesson # 1 …….Run


Get up and run, don’t walk, don’t wait

Rule #1 don’t hesitate, your date is done…. Run

Get up and run, don’t walk, don’t wait

Rule #1 don’t hesitate, your date is done…. Run